Red Theater is a national performance art company founded by Aaron Sawyer in 2008, with collectives in Chicago, Illinois, Lincoln, Nebraska, Tucson, Arizona, and Purchase, New York.
Red specializes in personal performance pieces done in abstract ways, and works throughout 4-6 months at a time to create and devise a 30 piece show done within one hour.
The audience picks the order of the pieces, and we race the clock to get them all done.

I have been a member of Red Theater Purchase since 2015, and have been Artistic Director of the NY group since 2017.

Here are some of my pieces!

"This Was Playing When It Happened"

A duration/endurance performance piece in which I listen to the song that was playing when I was r*ped - for the first time in 3 years.
(Three Little Birds, by Bob Marley.)

When you have PTSD, your brain doesn't store the most painful memories, so they come back when certain triggers occur - i.e. a specific song.
In this piece, I am representing that.
My body is upside down, being held by three men, as if I'm stuck falling in place.

This performance was done in December 2017 with Red Theater (Purchase) during the show: "Exposure/Closure/Contrast." This piece features Francis Pace-Nunez, Jordan Schmidt, and Demetrius McCray.

“ . “

When I first joined Red Theater, I did a series of what I called "punctuation pieces." I took a punctuation mark and made it into a series of short, repeated sentences or statements about different things.

Last spring (2018), I did a piece called "."

This piece is about again, an assault/r*pe I went through.

(I find the best healing comes from making art.)

I hadn't realized after this specific incident that I had been collecting half consumed water bottles in my room for months.

Someone would visit and comment on it, and I wouldn't notice the mess until they observed it.

My trauma had manifested into a physical collection of memory.

For this piece, I took all the water bottles out of my room and from under my bed, and had the RTP collective members toss them around and at me as I struggled to pick them all back up.

I repeat the phrase "It's okay," after starting the piece with:

"I brought him birthday party vodka in a water bottle. I did not know he put it in my drink."

This is and was obviously NOT okay.

In the piece I am attempting to represent the embodiment of trauma in physical objects/triggers, and the struggle that comes with cleaning up the mess someone made of you.

This performance was done in Spring 2018 as part of Red Theater Purchase's show "Flash Flood."

"Exhaustion"

This piece is about an abusive ex partner of mine. In the performance, two members of Red Theater Purchase represent the two sides of this person, and recite things that he said to me, and about me during the timeline of our short term relationship.
These phrases range from "I love you" to "Why do you hate me?"
Ultimately, the piece ends with both the 'good' and 'bad' sides of him saying:
"Don't ever hurt me like that again."

My ex grew aggressive and violent and would harm both himself and me if I didn't answer him or tend to his every need.
The sounds in this piece represent the constant contact, and include Skype calls, text alerts, and various ringtones omitting from both an on stage speaker, and the devices of other collective members stationed around the space.
I kneel before the two versions of this person I loved, debating harming myself the way he did.

An abusive relationship often creates abusive or toxic behavior in all parties, even subconsciously.
I couldn't function after the abuse, and when I ended the relationship, months later I was reflecting the abuser's traits without realizing it.
I am lucky I got out, and lucky I got better.

This performance was done in December 2017 with Red Theater (Purchase) during the show: "Exposure/Closure/Contrast."
This piece features Francis Pace-Nunez, and Janos Boon.

swell

Immediately following a piece called "." I performed this piece, entitled "swell."

This performance is about the timeline from summer 2017 to spring 2018 in which I was abused and stalked by an ex boyfriend.

Two members of RTP wrap adhesive bandages around my body in a vulnerable state, as I describe the constraint this ex partner put on me and my life. Eventually, I break free.

This performance was done in Spring 2018 as part of Red Theater Purchase's show "Flash Flood."
This piece features Kara Kind and Matt McCormick.
Poem Below:

swell

spill-
to the boy i said i love you to in that coffee shop on ocean park.
i did not mean it as much as i said it.

sink-
i didn't know you too long before you said it.
i told you "don't fall in love with me, don't say it, don't call me that, don't-DON’t"
and you always
did.

i told you to stop calling
and every time you did it cratered caverns in my chest
my heart
with bat wings beating too fast
became a hibernating light

i did not know my heart without you
because you did not know yourself without my heart
and so i let my light die out
hoping that if i left you in the dark you'd get used to it.

swim-
you got used to it when i told you i was seeing someone else.

fall-
the boy next door started following me to my door.
i got a no contact order against him
the same week you started contacting me again.

flood-
you sent me videos of my house
sent packages to my school
and when you called 27 times in 20 minutes
because you thought i wasn't okay
i screamed that it wasn't okay

and you stopped calling
and started driving
and stopped answering.

and then you carved my name into your chest
and sent me a picture of it.

you carved my name over your heart
so every time someone broke it they'd know i did it first.

float-
but you broke me first

and i told my mother
and i told your mother
and after learning everything you did she told you

don’t

fly-
and as of late,
finally you didn’t.